


Patience's My Enemy, Loving's My Friend

by runnerfangirl



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Deaf Character, Disability, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, deafness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-22 11:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11379474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runnerfangirl/pseuds/runnerfangirl
Summary: Alec Lightwood has always felt like a missing piece of him would never come back after he had lost his hearing. For fifteen years he worked to be an adequate Shadowhunter and to cover up for his loss. But no matter what he did, constantly, there was a disheartening feeling deep in his chest, until Magnus Bane came along.





	Patience's My Enemy, Loving's My Friend

**Author's Note:**

> This is the longest fic I've ever written, woah... Feel free to tell me what you think. ^-^  
> I don't have a beta-reader, so all the mistakes are mine.
> 
> Title from Ed Sheeran's song "She".

Alec has never heard any noise throughout the last fifteen years of his life. Not the sounds around him, not people’s voices speaking to him. He couldn’t even remember a life full with voices or how it was like to be able to hear.

His mother told him that it had happened when he was three. A freak demon attack that caught them off-guard while strolling around the Central Park. The incident wouldn’t have even happened if Maryse hadn’t been alone with Alec who was running around the park, pretending to be fighting with demons on his chubby legs.

Alec still couldn’t pinpoint the exact time he had stopped hearing. He barely remembered the smell of ichor, the light of his mother’s seraph blade, or the deafening sound of explosion. What he remembered were the fragments of what happened here and there, but he wasn’t sure if they were really what had happened or him imagining things as a three-year-old. So, he stuck with what his mother told him.

From what he’d heard, it was too late for Silent Brothers to heal Alec’s damaged ears when Maryse barged into the Institute, blood and ichor covering her clothes, and Alec crying loudly in her arms.

His family didn't stop searching a cure for their son for years. There weren’t any warlock they hadn’t visited or any spell they hadn’t tried. Slowly, they accepted the fact that there weren’t anything they could do for Alec, so his parents tried to give him the best training they could without Alec hearing them.

Almost everyone in the Institute learned sign language to be able to communicate with Alec. Hodge was giving him lessons apart from his siblings, teaching and learning sign language together. Izzy had asked him to teach it to her, so he did, partly because both of them couldn’t leave without making snide comments about each other. After coming to the New York Institute, even Jace had learned it and asked Alec to be his _parabatai_ in sign language. The latter couldn’t remember a day he was happier. It was when he realized that he could be as good as any other Shadowhunter, deaf or not.

Between his parents, Maryse was the one who knew sign language. She was still blaming herself for Alec’s condition (though, she never showed it) and she was doing everything she can to communicate with her son. Despite all of these, she was still an ice-cold mother towards her children, keeping her emotions in check for the sake of her job. But still, Alec was grateful for her effort to learn sign language, unlike his father.

Two years into looking a cure for Alec, Robert had already given up, accepting the facts and thinking that his eldest son would never be the best warrior like he’d thought he would. Soon enough, Alec learned not to give a shit about what he thought.

Thirteen years passed with communicating with everyone through sign language and training more than others to cover up for his loss of hearing.

The truth hit him hard in the face on the night of his sixteenth birthday.

It had been known for hundreds of years that every creature in the world would get a soulmark on their sixteenth birthday. Mundanes, Shadowhunters, warlocks, werewolves, vampires… Every living being would.

The marks would be tattooed somewhere on the person’s body. It would be the first thing your soulmate would say to you. Though, in some cases, it could be a matching mark, too.

Alec had thought about it before, of course. He thought about how he could have a mark if he couldn’t hear a thing. For years, he hoped that a mark would appear on his body which would help him with finding his fated, relying on the thought that someone will love him back someday.

But it didn’t happen.

A couple of words or any kind of mark didn’t appear on his body. So, he waited. Even when the sun rose and brightened the day, Alec was still sitting on his bed, waiting for black ink to appear on his skin. Slowly, he felt the hope drain out of him and the fact that he didn’t have a soulmate creeping up to his mind.

Then, he let the tears fall from his eyes and curled up in his bed, his body shaking with heavy sobs. When Izzy and Jace found him crying his eyes out, they didn’t say anything. They just sat on the bed while hugging Alec and let his tears soak their clothes.

 

The thought of his soulmate was the only thing that had kept Magnus going in his childhood, when he ran away from the deaths of his parents and stayed with the Silent Brothers. Surely, Silent Brothers were helping him with his magic and teaching him about the Shadow World, but it wasn’t the same with having a family. Showing emotions or care weren’t really their line of work, so Magnus longed for the night of his sixteenth birthday.

He had always dreamt of how his life was going to be like when he would meet his soulmate, the one person who he would share his soul with. A soulmark which would indicate that someone was going to love him despite his cat eyes or the demon blood running through his veins, that someone was going to look at him with eyes full of love instead of hate or disgust.

That night he lay down in his cold bed, sleepiness fogging his mind but his eyes wide open, looking at the ceiling and trying to imagine the color of his soulmate’s eyes. Would they be green to match Magnus’ own, or just plain but captivating brown?

The colors and shades ran through his mind before he settled on blue. It had always been his favorite, and he could definitely imagine himself staring at his soulmate’s ocean-blue eyes for hours.

Magnus’s thoughts disappeared and he hissed between his teeth when suddenly, he felt like his body was on fire.

It hadn’t lasted long before Magnus felt the tension and fire leave his body except for the skin above his left collarbone. He waited, lying on his bed until he could barely feel the tingle of the burning sensation. Then, Magnus sat up, trying to control his raging breaths and took off his t-shirt to look at the skin where he knew his soulmark would be. He huffed in annoyance when he couldn’t read his mark upside-down and snapped his fingers to make a mirror appear before him.

Right there, under his collarbone, were a couple of words written in an elegant and cursive writing. Magnus brought his right hand up to touch the words delicately, as if they could disappear any second.

After he carved every single curve of the writing into his mind, the meaning of the written words registered to Magnus. And he could swear he had heard his heart breaking.

_I’ve never thought I would ever feel whole again after I had lost my hearing._

Thousands of possible scenarios ran through his mind on how his soulmate could have lost their sense of hearing or how they would even hear Magnus talking to them.

The young warlock’s eyes widened in horror when a thought struck to his mind.

How would his soulmate have a mark when they couldn’t hear him talking? Their mark could be a symbol instead of words, but it was a small possibility since Magnus had words on his body. Maybe his soulmate lost their hearing after meeting Magnus, but then, why was the first sentence he would hear from his soulmate were the ones engraved on his skin? Even if it was the former, how could Magnus find his soulmate one day, knowing that they are going to lose their hearing and Magnus won’t be able to protect them from the harm’s way?

By the time sun was rising, Magnus was still thinking about his soulmark and crying silent tears for his fated one who he still had yet to meet.

 

Alec stood in front of his mirror, tugging at the sleeves of his shirt and keeping his gaze away from the mirror to avoid looking at himself.

It has not been more than two hours after Isabelle had barged into his room to convince him to go to a Downworlder party along with them. Since she couldn’t talk for hours before Alec became tired of hearing her voice and accepted the offer, she settled in poking him until her brother swatted her hand away with a light nod.

He didn’t know much about why they were going to the party or what they were going to do there, but from what he had gathered from Izzy, who was signing to him while picking a shirt from his wardrobe, it had something to do with that mundane girl Clary. Truthfully, Alec didn’t like her. He didn’t like strangers generally, but the fact that Clary had disturbed the peace and order they had had in the Institute for years was enraging him.

Alec couldn’t be sure if one of the reasons he didn’t like her was because she was Jace’s soulmate. He knew he was attracted to his adopted brother, to his _parabatai_ , at one point; but he had always known along that nothing would ever happen between them.

Not even two days after Jace had told him that Clary was the one for him, Isabelle came into his room at midnight and questioned him on how a _mundane_ could ever be her soulmate. Alec wasn’t the one to give advices, but he signed to Isabelle that a few words on her skin couldn’t determine who she was going to fall in love with or how she would shape her life around someone. He knew that these were the words his sister wanted to hear (she was never the one to let the rules control her, anyway). Throughout the both soulmate discoveries, no one mentioned the fact that Alec didn’t have a soulmark and that his unmarked body was indicating a life of loveless.

The shadow that had fallen upon him cleared his thoughts and Isabelle, whom the shadow belonged to, came into his view from the mirror. She raised her thumbs up and asked Alec if he was ready with a smirk on her lips. The older Shadowhunter rolled his eyes while nodding and followed his sister out of his room, trying not to think about the party they were going.

The walk they had to the loft, where the party was gathered, passed in silence for Alec while the others were walking and chatting before him. It wasn’t a problem for the eldest Shadowhunter, he had gotten used to people talking to each other next to him while he couldn’t hear a thing. That was why he always stayed at the back. If he couldn’t join to their conversations, the least he could do was to keep an eye on them from the shadows.

Alec wasn’t aware of the time, but before he knew it, they were standing in front of a door to the loft and Isabelle was ringing the doorbell repeatedly. He was thinking about telling her to stop, but the door opened before he could do so, revealing the most beautiful person Alec had ever seen in his life.

He had a blue streak in his black hair, matching the color of his lipstick and black kohl lining around his eyelashes, bringing out the cat-like eyes that shone in green and gold. The buttons of his shirt was open, except for the one at the end that kept the shirt together on his body, and a strip of his skin could be seen from the gap between his shirt and jeans, as if the open-buttoned shirt wasn’t showing enough of his chest.

Alec didn’t notice that he was staring until he saw the man moving his mouth, which meant that his siblings had already started the conversation. He averted his gaze, looking at everywhere except for the man shining in glitter. Only a few seconds later, he had a weird feeling at the pit of his stomach as if someone was watching him.

When his siblings get into the apartment along with Clary and her mundane friend, Alec raised his head to follow them, only to stop abruptly in shock as he noticed that the man at the doorstep was looking at him.

He sent a flirty smirk to Alec, who was sure that crimson blush was covering his cheeks, and winked at him before turning back to the party. The door was left open for Alec to get inside after his fellow Shadowhunter siblings and the glittery man who had managed to make him blush in less than a second.

Alec had no idea what he was supposed to do in a party when he couldn’t hear the normally deafening songs blasting from the speakers or the conversations between his siblings and the owner of the party. So he settled in watching them from the back, trying to read their lips and keeping his eyes away from the shiny man.

The oldest Lightwood followed others as the man led them through the loft until they reached to a bedroom. Alec found himself leaning to the bedpost, still standing at the back, and looking around the room, taking the decorations in while the others’ conversation went on. He was wondering whose party they were crashing and trying to remember if Izzy had told him about it, when it hit him in the face.

He was _Magnus Bane_.

The man who was covered in glitter from head to toe was _Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn_.

Alec remembered the pictures Hodge had shown him at the Institute while learning about warlocks and started to wonder why the hell they were crashing the High Warlock’s party. He looked up to Izzy to ask her, but his sister’s concentration was fully on the warlock and Alec didn’t want to be the one to disturb their conversation.

The Shadowhunter had kept standing in silence, busying himself with looking at the antics around the loft until they reached the door to leave the party after two hours. However, the stoic and bored look on his face changed for the second time that day when Alec saw Magnus winking at him once again and saying a few words.

His cheeks were deep red when Jace dragged him out of the party with a smirk on his lips, but Alec was too busy thinking about what Magnus had said to make a comment about his brother’s smug face.

_Call me, sometime?_

Now, calling people wasn’t really an effective way of communication for Alec, but as they walked towards the Institute, he still found himself thinking about the offer.

 

Magnus fell onto a chair in exhaustion after he got the last drop of demon poison out of Alec’s blood. He sighed in relief and closed his eyes, hoping a few minutes of resting would give him a bit of his drained magic back.

The doors of the infirmary opened and Isabelle Lightwood rushed next to her brother’s bed. She looked at Alec’s body which was covered in blood, but at least his chest was moving with slow and steady breaths. Isabelle turned to Magnus, who was looking at her with tired eyes. “Is- Is he going to be okay?”

“Yes,” Magnus replied. “I got all the venom out and healed his wounds. He should be just fine, though he might need to use crutches for a while.”

“Okay,” Isabelle mumbled to herself. “That’s good, he’s fine.” She sat on a chair at the opposite side of Alec’s bed and grabbed a clean rag to clean the blood off his face.

Magnus wasn’t fighting to keep his heavy eyelids open anymore and was about to doze off to sleep when he heard Isabelle talking to him.

“I-I…” She struggled to find the words as she continued to wipe Alec’s face, not lifting her gaze to look at Magnus. In normal circumstances, he would huff loudly and complain about Shadowhunters’ pride preventing them from looking at a Downworlder in the eyes even when talking, but he knew that it wasn’t about pride this time. Isabelle’s eyes were not filled with ignorance; instead, they were full with love, worry and horror. “Thank you,” she said finally. “For saving him. I know you didn’t have to do it, and I have no idea how you knew he was hurt, but I’m grateful that you’re here. It shouldn’t have been easy to save him in that state, I’m willing to pay whatever you want for your services. Jace will surely say the same thing, even if the Institute-”

“Isabelle,” Magnus straightened up in his chair and put his hand on her shoulder in a soothing gesture. “I’m not requesting any kind of payment for what I did.”

“But-But you saved him, and-” She stopped when she finally looked up to Magnus’ face. Then she continued in a quiet voice. “You’re serious.”

“Of course, I am. I don’t make jokes about my payment, young lady.” Magnus was smiling softly at her, but then a tired smirk appeared on his lips. “Though I should confess, I’d be very delighted if Alexander had called me.”

“Oh,” A joyful smile covered her face, but instantly it turned into a sad one. “I don’t think that’ll work out well for him.”

“And why is that, my dear?”

Magnus felt the last bit of sleepiness leave his body when Isabelle spoke again. “He’s deaf.”

“What?!” He couldn’t help it when his voice came out a little too loud, but what she said hadn’t even crossed Magnus’ mind as a possibility. It made sense, though. Now, he understood why Alec wasn’t paying any attention to the conversation he had had with the other Shadowhunters at his party, or why he didn’t seem at least a little bit affected from the music blasting from the speakers. “How-How did…” For the first time in centuries, Magnus found himself at loss for words.

“It happened when he was three, from a demon attack. He doesn’t have his hearing since then and learned to live with it for years.” Isabelle’s face turned into stone-cold and protectiveness took over her features. “I know that you may be interested in my brother, but I swear to Angel, if you do anything to hurt him, I will-”

“I won’t.”

“What?” Isabelle seemed to be surprised by Magnus’s bluntness and the determination in his voice.

“I won’t. I will never hurt him. Do you really think I will, after I nearly drained myself out of magic while saving him?”

“No. No, but you’re…”

“I know who I am, Isabelle. And I know the difference between my real feelings and the flings I have.  I will never hurt Alec intentionally. You have my word.” Magnus had no idea where did all the protectiveness come from suddenly, but he couldn’t help it.

“Okay,” said Isabelle, after a moment of silence. “I believe you.”

The warlock nodded his head as the girl continued to wipe the blood away from Alec’s face. He took his hand away from her shoulder and rested it on top of Alec’s, wondering when he would open his eyes and let Magnus get lost in the deep blue.

 

Alec stood in front of the loft’s door, his finger hovering over the buzzer for what seemed like hours. His eyes were fixed on the name written next to the button as he tried to gather up his courage.

 _Bane_.

He huffed in annoyance, which was directed to himself, and pressed the button without thinking more, but his hand didn’t left the buzzer after.

On his way from the Institute, he had thought about how he would understand if Magnus answered the door or not, since Alec couldn’t hear him. However, all of his worry left and a satisfied smile appeared on his lips when he felt the buzzer vibrate under his fingers, letting him know that Magnus was indeed at home. Even though his deafness hadn’t affected his speaking, Alec still wasn’t fond of it. Words barely left his lips even while talking to Izzy or Jace, which led him to think on how he could make Magnus notice that it’d be Alec buzzing up to his loft.

He took his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and opened up the app he had downloaded years ago. While guiding Alec through the app, Isabelle had told him that it would read out loud whatever he wrote on his phone. So, he typed “It’s Alec Lightwood.” and raised his phone closer to the buzzer.

 He was waiting curiously, wondering if the door would clink open or he would have to turn back to the Institute, when the former happened and Alec found himself face-to-face with the certain glittery warlock.

Alec raised his hand to give him a small wave with a sheepish smile on his face. His cheeks were slowly turning red, but he didn’t have any idea what had caused it. Magnus greeted Alec back with a smile and opened the door wider to let him in.

Everything inside the loft was different than the last time Alec had been there. First of all, all the space wasn’t filled with sweaty dancing bodies and the loft didn’t smell of alcohol. Secondly, at the party, the walls were dark purple and the whole loft was decorated with antics. But now, the walls were black, the table was white and the couches were red, giving Magnus’ home a modern look.

Alec swayed back and forth on his legs, considering whether he should sit or not. Magnus seemed to sense his distress, and gestured one of the blood-red couches. The Shadowhunter followed the warlock, who had sat on the couch next to him, and took out the paper he had in his pocket to give it to Magnus.

A kind of letter was written on the paper in Alec’s scrambled handwriting. He wrote it in the Institute after Isabelle had told him how Magnus saved him from the brink of death. He knew he couldn’t just call the warlock to thank him, so he decided on writing it as a note and giving the paper to Magnus on his own.

Alec’s gaze was directed on his fiddling fingers while Magnus was reading the note with a new-born curiosity. The warlock let out a chuckle in joy, which went unnoticed by Alec, and put the paper on the table as he turned to look at the Shadowhunter.

Alec jumped slightly in surprise when he felt Magnus’ warm fingers curl under his chin, raising his head enough to look into the warlock’s cat-like eyes. He hadn’t expected to see Magnus smiling softly at him, his eyes shining as if he couldn’t be happier to see Alec.

The blue-eyed boy didn’t have any idea if Magnus knew about his deafness or not, but he guessed that Isabelle must have told him when the warlock snapped his fingers, making words written in blue flames appear on top of the table next to them.

_You’re welcome, Alexander. But I should be the one thanking you._

Alec raised an eyebrow in a silent question. The words on the table disappeared and new ones appeared in their place.

_For coming all the way here to thank me. I haven’t quite expected that._

Alec took out the notebook and pen he always carried with him to answer back.

 _Well_ , he wrote. _You told me to call you._ He added a smiley face to the end before showing the page to Magnus. Alec watched his features as the warlock’s eyes widened slightly and he let out a small laugh. With a snap of his fingers the blue flames changed their shape, once again.

 _This may be a little straight-forward…_ There was a little pause before the flames continued to form the next words. _…but would you like to go on a date with me?_

Alec watched the flames dance in the form of words with widened eyes. He blinked a couple times to make sure he was reading it right. But before he could write an answer back new words appeared on the table.

_I’m sorry. That was-_

The Shadowhunter didn’t bother to read the rest of it. Instead, he grabbed his notebook once again and scrambled the words quickly on it without thinking.

_YES. I mean, are you sure? With me?_

Magnus seemed to be clearly relaxed, even a smile took over the frown on his face. _Of course, I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be?_ He added the next words as he saw Alec’s hesitation. _No matter what, I still want to try it out with you, Alexander; but only if you want it, too._

Instead of writing back his answer, Alec nodded his head enthusiastically, making a wide smile appear on Magnus’ lips.

_So, let’s say Friday night?_

Alec had already started to think of ways he could escape from the Institute before he wrote back to the warlock. _Sure… Where?_

Magnus’ answer was quick and without hesitation. _Why not my place? It’ll be more comfortable and I can cook for you._ There was a winking face formed of blue flames at the corner of the table. Alec felt himself smiling.

Even though the Shadowhunter usually felt tired of communicating with people through writing, he wasn’t even a little bit disturbed by their correspondence. _You can cook???_

Magnus smiled sheepishly and winked at Alec as he snapped his fingers. _No… But the restaurant around the corner won’t notice a few plates of food missing. Plus, there’s no harm in making it look like I cooked._

Alec couldn’t help himself as he let out a breathy laugh.

He wasn’t aware of the fact that it was the first time Magnus had heard his voice, or the loving look the warlock was giving to him with his eyes full with adoration. His cheeks heated up and a blush covered all the way from his cheeks to his neck as new words appeared on the table.

_Your voice is beautiful, and I’d like to hear more of it._

Alec mouth opened and closed without letting out a sound. He wasn’t used to it. He wasn’t used to people flirt with him, hell, he wasn’t even used to people trying to make a conversation with him. And to say that he didn’t like the attention would be a lie.

The Shadowhunter’s eyes caught the sight of the clock on the wall and he let out a sigh.

 _I should head back to the Institute_ , he wrote unwillingly and turned the page to Magnus. The warlock nodded and stood up, gesturing the door to indicate that he would walk Alec out. The fact that he didn’t want the Shadowhunter to leave was clear as day in his eyes, but the smile on his lips held the promise of a date on Friday night.

When they reached the door, Alec turned to Magnus and waved him a goodbye with a smile, just like he did when he had come to the loft. Magnus smiled back at him and snapped his fingers for one last time, making the words appear on the door.

 _See you on Friday night. You can come whenever you like._ Then the words cleared and new ones appeared in a cursive writing. _Goodnight, Alexander._

In that moment, as Alec descended the stairs of Magnus’ loft, he had never wanted to hear someone’s voice saying his name as much as he did then.

 

It turned out that sneaking out of the Institute wasn’t as easy as Alec had thought it would be. Going out without being seen by Jace was the easy part, he was too busy with training that Fray girl to notice his _parabatai_ going out alone that night. Isabelle, however, was the real problem.

Since there wasn’t any point in knocking on Alec’s door, the girl had made a habit of barging into his room without any notice years ago. And when Isabelle had seen Alec standing in front of his closet, trying and failing to choose between his sweater and black shirt, she started bugging him until Alec told her about the date.

That was the reason why Alec was wearing his black jeans and a dark blue shirt (which he didn’t remember of owning) while sitting on the couch, next to Magnus.

Already used and crumbled papers were covering the most of the floor as Alec and Magnus exchanged their stories by writing on notebooks.

They had a wonderful dinner after Alec had knocked on Magnus’ door around seven p.m. The table was ready with candle lights adorning it, turning Alec’s cheeks into crimson-red and making Magnus watch him with a teasing smile on his face. There wasn’t much talking -or writing- while they were eating, but the lack of conversation wasn’t uncomfortable to either of them.

Then, they moved to sit on the couch, which was glittery blue this time, and Magnus conjured up two notebooks along with glittery gel pens. At first, Alec read as Magnus wrote about himself and the adventures he had; but after a while the Shadowhunter joined the warlock, writing stories about his siblings and the hunts they went to. Alec wasn’t sure if demon hunts were an interesting subject to talk about on a first date, but when he saw Magnus reading them so eagerly, he decided that he didn’t really care.

Through the night, the sounds that could be heard inside the loft were only the woods crackling at the fireplace with the magical blue flames, and the laughs leaving Alec and Magnus’ mouths every now and then as they told each other their stories by writing.

_How can you not know sign language?? You said you know around thirty languages!_

The smile on Alec’s face showed that he was asking the question in curiosity other than anything else.

 _I don’t know_ , Magnus wrote back. _I've learned it around a century ago, seems like I've forgotten it without any practice._

 _Maybe I can teach you._ The corners of Alec's mouth curled into a shy smile and his face flushed bright-red. Magnus turned to him with his eyebrows raised, blinking his eyes slowly.

_I'd love that._

Alec nodded his head and a happy sigh left his lips. A peaceful silence fell between them as Alec closed his eyes briefly to savour the moment and Magnus’ thoughts wandered around the blue-eyed Shadowhunter and the idea of soulmates.

Magnus wasn’t stupid by any means, he could put two and two together, but he wasn’t certain. After Alec left his loft a week ago, he sat back on his couch and thought about the soulmark he had gained around four hundred years ago. Maybe this was it. Maybe Alec was his soulmate, his fated, the other half of his soul…

But he couldn’t be sure since he still hadn’t heard Alec’s voice, other than the times he laughed. Even though he was burning with curiosity inside, he still didn’t want to rush the Shadowhunter into speaking. He knew that Alec would speak to him if –no, _when_ \- he trusts Magnus enough, and the warlock wasn’t willing to crush the relationship they were building slowly by his eagerness. Even if it took years for Alec to talk to Magnus, even if Alec would never talk to him, Magnus was not going to lose Alexander over a stupid mark.

 _Tell me more about yourself, Alexander_ , Magnus wrote after a while of silence and showed the page to the Shadowhunter sitting next to him.

Alec’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he wrote back. _Me?_

 _Of course, you!_ Magnus was shocked by Alec’s genuine surprise. _Why so surprised?_

The warlock watched Alec as he struggled to find the next words. _I don’t know what is there to talk about…_

Alec was looking at Magnus with wide eyes, trying to come up with something about himself to tell him. Magnus’ heart broke into pieces at the sight.

Throughout the years, Alec had gotten used to standing at the back, covering himself in the shadows while his siblings were shining under the spotlight. The warlock didn’t understand how people easily dismissed the boy with the shining blue eyes, when he became the center of Magnus’ life so quickly. He decided to lessen Alec’s distress with his next words.

_Why don’t you start with telling me your hobbies? What do you do in your free time?_

The tenseness on Alec’s shoulders seemed to disappear and Magnus took it as a success. The Shadowhunter thought about the question for a minute before writing back.

 _Sparring_ , there was a little pause before Alec continued. _I mean, I like it when Hodge or Jace teach me new moves… And reading. The Institute has this enormous library and some of the books are even handwritten! I love reading them whenever I have time._

There was a little smile playing at the edge of Alec’s lips, which made Magnus smile back at him involuntarily. _You know_ , he wrote. _I have a pretty big library, too. You can come whenever you want again, and I will show you all of my books._

Alec scrambled back with wide eyes. _Really?!!_

_Of course, I will, Alexander._

The Shadowhunter gave him a smile that warmed up his heart and Magnus promised to himself that he would make Alec smile more. He saw the hesitation when Alec grabbed the glittery pink pen again and Magnus nudged his shoulder lightly to encourage him.

 _Why are you calling me_ Alexander _?_

 _Well_ , Magnus decided to act like he didn’t acknowledge the real meaning behind the question. _It is your name, isn’t it?_

_Yeah, but no one calls me that._

Magnus’ next words made a blush appear on Alec’s cheekbones.

_That’s a shame, really. Alexander is such a beautiful name._

_Though_ , he added the last part quickly as doubt started to grow in his chest. _I’d stop calling you that if it makes you uncomfortable._

 _No, don’t stop,_ Alec wrote hastily as he shook his head, making Magnus sigh with relief. _I like it when you call me Alexander… I wish I could hear it._

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus couldn’t help the words escaping from his lips as he looked up to Alec with sad eyes.

The Shadowhunter was looking back at him, his eyes wide, innocent and holding so much emotion in them. Magnus raised a ring-covered hand and rested it on Alec’s cheek. He could swear there were butterflies flying in his stomach when the boy in front of him tilted his head and nuzzled his cheek into Magnus’ palm.

There were so much Magnus wanted to say to the blue-eyed Shadowhunter, but the words died in his throat and he decided to show his feeling through actions. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck and pulled him towards his shoulder, hugging him tightly. One of his hands was wrapped around the Shadowhunter’s shoulders, while the other one was caressing the nape of his neck soothingly.

At first, Alec’s arms were hanging down limply by either side of his body; but then, he carefully wrapped them around Magnus’s torso and rested his forehead against his shoulder.

He didn’t cry, he didn’t let the tears fall onto Magnus’ shirt. Instead, he let out a heavy sigh and his shoulders relaxed as if he had gotten rid of a burden he was carrying for years. Alec knew he could never fully chuck off that weight, but at least, he was sharing it with Magnus, now.

After they sat on the couch, hugging each other for a while, Magnus slowly pulled back and brought his hands up to Alec’s cheeks. He let his gaze linger on the Shadowhunter’s blue eyes as his thumbs caressed the other’s cheekbones lightly. Alec’s hands were settled on Magnus’ lap and his eyes were sparkling while looking into the cat-like ones.

Magnus wanted to ask him the question bugging his mind, he wanted to know if it would be okay with Alec if Magnus kissed him right now. But on the other hand, letting Alec go in order to grab the notebook would ruin the moment, and it was the last thing Magnus ever wanted to do.

So, instead of asking him, the warlock leaned in slowly, his eyes looking out for any sign of discomfort on Alec’s features. When he couldn’t find any, Magnus continued to lean towards the Shadowhunter until their noses touched, and then he stopped. He was still unsure of kissing the boy, so he settled in brushing his nose slightly against Alec’s and waiting for him to do the next move.

The blue eyes fluttered closed as soon as their noses touched and Alec leaned further in cautiously, indicating that he was letting Magnus kiss him, but also that he wasn’t entirely sure of what to do.

As soon as the warlock got his approval he let his lips brush against Alec’s briefly before pressing harder and kissing the boy tenderly, with so much passion that it made him feel dizzy.

Alec wasn’t sure of what he should do at first. It wasn’t like he had been kissed before. But he felt like it didn’t matter, like Magnus didn’t care whether he was inexperienced or not. He decided to copy his movements. Memorizing the slide of Magnus’ lips against his, and trying to do the same.

Their first kiss wasn’t perfect, but it definitely wasn’t bad, either. It was much better than the first kiss Alec had imagined he would have, with a _female_ Shadowhunter that his family had found for him.

After what felt like hours, but actually wasn’t more than a few seconds, Magnus pulled back and opened his eyes to look at the young boy’s face.

Alec’s eyes were still closed, his cheeks were flushed red and there was a tiny smile at the corner of his mouth. He looked so beautiful in Magnus’ eyes that he couldn’t resist the urge to give Alec a small peck on the lips. The Shadowhunter’s eyes shot opened and his cheeks turned into a darker red, but now his smile was covering the most of his face, his eyes twinkling in happiness.

They stood in silence for a while, studying each other’s faces, memorizing every single detail, and craving them into their minds. This time, however, it was Alec's voice which cut through the silence; and to say that Magnus had never, ever felt so happy in his life would be an understatement.

Alec’s mouth opened and closed a few times, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t put it into the right words. Magnus wanted to shake his head, to tell Alec that it was okay if he didn’t want to speak, if he couldn’t use the words to express his feelings. But before he could, the words had already left Alec’s mouth for him to hear.

“I’ve never thought I would ever feel whole again after I had lost my hearing.”

Magnus was in shock.

He couldn’t talk, he couldn’t form sentences, he couldn’t even think. All he could do was to sit in front of Alec with wide eyes, his mouth agape, and listen Alec’s sweet voice as he felt like his soulmark was burning a hole in his chest.

“I’ve never thought it was possible,” Alec continued and averted his gaze from Magnus’ as if he was embarrassed. “But… But tonight, with _you_ , I felt like it didn’t matter if I could hear you or not. I never feel like a piece of me is missing when I’m around you, and I would never want to let go of that. So, uh… Thank you, Magnus.”

Magnus felt like he could stay in the state he was in for the eternity, with a shocked expression on his face while his mind was wandering between the burning sensation under his collarbone and the blue of Alexander’s eyes. But his senses quickly came back to himself when Alec’s face faltered, and sadness and horror took over his eyes for a second. When Magnus felt Alec’s hands retreating from his lap, he moved quickly to grab a hold on them, not letting Alec go.

Gold-green eyes stared into blue ones while Magnus tried to form coherent sentences in his head to tell Alec about his soulmark. But even if the Shadowhunter could have been able to hear him, Magnus wasn’t sure how words would be enough to tell him that they were soulmates, that they were created for each other. So, for the second time that day, the warlock decided to show his thoughts through his actions.

Magnus let go of Alec’s hands, but not before putting them back on his lap, and opened the first few buttons of his silk shirt, shoving the clothing down to reveal the cursive writing adorning the skin under his collarbone.

He would never, ever in his life forget the expression on Alec’s face that day. Series of emotions appeared and disappeared from surprise to shock, from disbelief to happiness. Alec didn’t speak again but kept looking at Magnus’ mark while the latter was watching him.

He raised his right hand up to Magnus’ shoulder until his fingers were hovering over the words. His trembling fingers didn’t touch Magnus’ skin, as if he wasn’t sure whether he was allowed to or not. When Magnus noticed his dilemma, he nodded lightly and brought up his own hand to wrap it around Alec’s. Their eyes met once again as soon as they touched and Magnus pressed Alec’s fingers to the mark on his skin. He let go when the younger boy’s fingers started to move and his gaze fell down from the green eyes to his chest.

They sat in silence again, but as always, it was disturbing. Magnus sat still, with his shirt open and hanging askew off of his shoulder, and watched Alec’s eyes shining with unshed tears. The Shadowhunter was sitting next to him with their knees touching and they were standing so close that their breaths were mixing into each other’s. But Alec was too busy staring at Magnus’ soulmark to notice the details.

His eyes were settled on the warlock’s skin and he wasn’t even blinking, as if it would ruin the moment or make the mark disappear. His fingers were brushing against the permanent ink like he was still considering the possibility that it wasn’t real and he was imagining things in his head.

For so long, Alec thought that he wasn’t capable of loving or being loved, and his markless skin was a proof of that. But now, everything he had thought was proven to be wrong and honestly, he didn’t know what to do. So, he continued staring at the words and brushing the pads of his fingers against them, waiting for Magnus to do the next move as always.

The warlock didn’t move an inch, though. This caused Alec to have an internal panic attack as he tried to think of what he should be doing.

He couldn’t remember what he had thought or done next, but a moment later he found himself kissing Magnus hungrily with his hands on the either side of the warlock’s cheeks. Alec’s thumbs were moving up and down his cheekbones, smearing the glitter around his face; but Magnus was too busy -and shocked- to care.

They kissed without having a pause until they needed to pull away to take a breath. Their breaths were heavy and ragged as they stared into each other’s eyes, both pairs shining with happiness that blossomed from disbelief.

“You are-You are my… my _soulmate_.”

Magnus nodded his head, still shaking with felicity and shock. Hearing Alec’s voice was still new to him, but it was becoming his favorite sound fairly quick. Tears were pooling around both of their eyes but they never moved their gazes away from each other.

“I-I have a soulmate… And-And it’s _you_.” A few drops of tears escaped from Alec’s blue eyes, and left trails behind as they fell down his cheeks. “I’ve never thought that-that I would ever have one.”

“It’s okay, now.” Magnus mouthed the words slowly, hoping Alec would catch up by reading his lips. He continued when he saw the boy’s gaze fell to his lips and Alec nodded, telling him that he did understood Magnus. “I’m here, Alexander.”

A quiet sob left the Shadowhunter’s mouth and he brought his hand from Magnus’ cheek to his mouth to cover it.

Magnus couldn’t imagine what Alec must have felt through all these years, but he could relate to the pain caused by soulmarks and the idea of soulmates. He did have a soulmark unlike Alec, but he had waited for four hundred years to find his fated. And now, he was sitting next to Magnus, series of quiet sobs leaving his mouth while his shoulders were shaking.

Along with the happiness he was feeling, the warlock felt his heart break at the sight in front of him. He raised his hands, which were settled around Alec’s waist, to wrap them around his neck and shoulders, pulling the boy tightly against himself. He rubbed his hand in circles on the Shadowhunter’s back and hoped that it would soothe him as the tears soaked his shirt.

Around ten minutes later Alec’s sobs died down and Magnus heard him let out a light laugh. The sound was muffled against his shoulder, but he could tell that it was out of pure joy.

Magnus shivered when he felt Alec’s hot lips pressing against the side of his neck, leaving a kiss right on his pulse-point. The older man’s hands that were rubbing up and down on his back stopped and he had to bite his bottom lip to stop a moan from coming out as Alec started to kiss all the way up on Magnus’ throat. When he reached under his chin, Alec’s lips moved along the warlock’s jaw until he reached his lips.

Alec tasted salt as his lips moved over the tracks of tears on Magnus’ cheeks, and his own tears mixed with the other’s between their lips as they kissed.

Their second kiss was slower, more tender and held so much emotion in it as their lips moved against each other. Alec was partly trying to copy Magnus’ moves, partly just acting the way he felt was right. He felt Magnus’ hot tongue swipe against the seam of his lips and let out a quiet moan before he could help himself. The Shadowhunter was about to pull back in embarrassment; but before he could, Magnus used this opportunity to slip his tongue into Alec’s mouth and let it touch against the other’s, drawing out another moan from the boy. They kept kissing slowly, but messily, their teeth and tongues crashing against each other’s, not that any of them cared. Every now and then a moan was escaping from Alec or Magnus’ lips, encouraging the other to press harder into the kiss until they both needed to take a breath.

Alec rested his head against Magnus’ after he pulled away and opened his eyes, letting the blue meet gold-green. His hands were on the either side of the warlock’s cheeks once again, while Magnus’ hands were resting around his shoulders. The man’s fingers were playing with the hair at the nape of Alec’s neck and caressing against his scalp. Both of them had wide smiles on their faces and their eyes were shining brightly.

“I’m never letting you go.” Magnus mouthed, and he had meant it with the deepest part of his heart. He had waited four hundred years to find the other part of his soul, and now he wasn’t ever going to let him go.


End file.
